Our first bout of attempts on the mighty Illidari Council ended with a heartbreaking 1% wipe on a Monday night, allowing us another week to be "intimate" with the group before putting their faces in the dirt. As it turns out, all of the fleeting sideways glances, angst-filled sighs, and smoldering loins were not in our imaginations; there clearly was a blood elf dramafest in progress.

Being ever the gossips (as some reading this may know, Corpser pooped himself in college on a bet), we decided to dig a little deeper and rip the secrets from the council's flesh. Naughty secrets. More than just the four of the council were involved.

The Betrayer himself was mixed up in a love triangle consisting of himself, Lady Malande, and High Nethermancer Zerevor. This may sound preposterous, but I have the chat log to prove it:

KillidanStormRAGE187: HOW COULD U DO THIS TO ME?????????/
qtmalande4u6969: wat r u talking about?
KillidanStormRAGE187: YOURE FUCKING ZEREVOR
qtmalande4u6969: ya so? we rnt 2gether nemore
KillidanStormRAGE187: BUT I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! HOW CAN U JUST STOMP ALL OVER MY HEART LIKE THAT!!!!!!!
qtmalande4u6969: um watever u just used me 2 try n get over tyrande i no u thot about her when we made luv
KillidanStormRAGE187: BULLSHIT
KillidanStormRAGE187: SLUT
KillidanStormRAGE187: SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT
KillidanStormRAGE187: SLUTTY SLUT SLUT WHORE SLUT SLUT
qtmalande4u6969: ok watever if u cant be mature about this u can go fuck urself
KillidanStormRAGE187: WHAT ABOUT ROSS< WE WERE TOGETHER THEN U FUCKING SLUT
qtmalande4u6969: we were on a brake u psyhco
KillidanStormRAGE187: THE IRONY TEARS AT THE VERY DEPTHS OF MY SOUL
qtmalande4u6969: ok stop talking 2 me
qtmalande4u6969: goodbye 4ever
Auto response from KillidanStormRAGE187: I'M ABOUT TO BREAK

We couldn't find any mention of the other two, but considering that one is a rogue wearing a dress and the other is a Ret pally, we can safely assume they're making fabulous, homosexual elf whoopie with each other.

How we obtained these juicy logs is not important, and in the end, Illidan's favorite band was correct. It doesn't even matter, because we decided to just go ahead and slaughter the Illidari council. Loots and all that.

Yay! Akama was then nice enough to break down Illidan's door as we wondered if we would be interrupting his "special time." Thankfully, he was just having a one-demon pity party.

One more to go, and we're done with all the content the Burning Crusade has to offer for now.

As we've been nearing the end of the Black Temple, it has been increasingly apparent that we're up against the toughest foes to be found in either the Outland or Azeroth. Last week, we went toe to toe with a big hunk of rock that has multiple faces and emerged victorious. This week Illidan upped the ante and set us against the very powerful and very slutty madame of BT, Mother Shahraz. This encounter was met with great difficulty.

Despite using the strat laid out on Bosskillers, it soon became apparent that we could not simply throw on shadow resist like everyone else to penetrate the Mother's defenses. Desperate for a solution, we looked to the guild's biggest hoebag, Critsuomi, who knows of matters that involve legs being spread eagle with wanton recklessness. After much thinking and sleeping around, she came up with a strategy that none would listen to until she took her top off. It was so simple, yet somehow overlooked: Richard Gere.

The only way into a whore's heart is the one and only Richard Gere. Once we employed this strategy, Shahraz was dropping loot like Julia Roberts drops her knickers.

With our newfound experience and knowledge to be gleaned from this fight, we can expect to use a strategy of offensively bad Irish accents and the ability to do pretty much nothing worthwhile should we ever face a Jackal. For now, we're looking forward to the Illidari council and the big boss himself, Illidan. Nonetheless, The potential threat of Bruce Willis with bleached blonde hair is too much to ignore.

I'm scared. Are you scared? You should be.

This week, we made this thing dead:

Whatever it is.

However, the week did not go by without some juicy guild drama. Pacsan and Docan left the guild to attempt to resurrect Depraved, with Pacsan reportedly claiming he was "fed up with Mitsuomi's shit" and sick of "that loony bitch's menstrual cycle," in addition to bashing the guild for "being a bunch of sissy worshipers of the God of Boundary Markers."

I don't know, he looks pretty badass to me. Fuck Pacsan.

It soon became clear that a guild built on a foundation of Docan could never be anything but a disaster, and thus Depraved died for the 27th time. But not before we got to talk shit about Pac!

Pacsan's lack of being guilded was not enough to stop Duo from laying down the sick burns. Will we overcome the squabbling among the ranks and band together to kill the mistress of the Black Temple and her dirty whores next? Only time will tell.

In other news, resident retard Ruzai managed to do something not completely worthless. Kudos to Ruzai for livening things up on our podunk server. Now if only he would log on for raids.

So, after an extended break from doing anything of importance in BT besides farming hearts for the looming resist extravaganza of Mother Shahraz, we have returned and killed some fel orc even fatter than Baite:

Also proving once again that while we may be able to kill stuff, we can't take a respectable screenshot to save our lives.

©2007 Terminus, Coded by Risc (orc rogues pwn you all) - HOSTED BY BRIBRI